Did you know that a doula can provide support at times other than pregnancy?
Doulas are often associated with pregnancy and childbirth, but their role goes far beyond these passages of life. They are there to support women through the major stages of their lives, including those marked by trauma. By exploring the special relationship between a doula and a woman, we better understand how this caring presence helps to heal deep wounds such as sexual abuse and pregnancy bereavement.
What is a doula?
Origin and definition
The word doula comes from the ancient Greek (δούλα) and referred to a servant who looked after her mistress for beauty, care and therefore for pregnancy and childbirth. In a somewhat simplistic way, the translation of the word doula is “at the service of the woman”.
I think it's a beautiful way of naming the doula profession, a woman who puts herself at the service of a woman, a couple or a family to support them on the path of life.
Traditional role
When I say I'm a doula, those who know me often think of pregnancy, childbirth and even the postnatal period. Few, however, associate the term with moments like mourning, first menstruation, menopause, marriage, other major transitions or even divorce. Yet a doula is not only present in the lives of women and families for a pregnancy or birth. Her role can be much broader and more complex.
The best-known role of doulas is to accompany, support and reassure women, couples and families during the birth of a new child. The doula may be present during the pregnancy, or her role may extend beyond her presence at the birth, accompanying the new family during the immediate or longer postnatal period (up to the child's 3rd birthday).
Extending the role of doula
Although the first encounter with a doula is often during pregnancy, she can accompany you at every stage of life.
A doula can therefore be present at the major stages in a woman's life, celebrating menarche, reconnecting with her menstrual cycle, and helping her through the menopause. A doula can also be present at important stages in a couple's life, supporting them in conscious sexuality, and accompanying them in major commitments such as marriage or other commitment ceremonies. And a doula can also be present and supportive in life's more difficult ordeals, such as the separation of a couple, the death of a child or loved one, or the voluntary or involuntary termination of a pregnancy.
Doula and feminine wounds.
Broad-spectrum Doula.
When I say wounds of the feminine, I mean sexual abuse, pregnancy bereavement and gynecological violence, infertility, traumatic childbirth, violent sexuality, or any other violent experience that impacts women's relationship to their bodies and femininity.
In broad-spectrum doula training (which is not the most common type of training), all phases of a woman's life are covered. This specialized training enables doulas to support women and families at times of great vulnerability. It also teaches them how to offer emotional support. Broad-spectrum doula training teaches skills such as active listening, non-judgment and empathy. Depending on their color, life history and sensitivity, each doula can delve deeper into specific subjects to gain additional knowledge, and thus specialize in certain areas such as trauma support.
A holistic approach
Doulas adopt a holistic approach to care, taking into account the person's physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. This is particularly beneficial in situations where trauma can affect several aspects of life.
Doulas can also offer invaluable support to partners and family members, who may themselves be affected by grief, abuse or violence. They offer to create a support network around the person in pain.
Some doulas may have personal experiences of bereavement, abuse or violence, giving them a deep and authentic understanding of the challenges their clients face. Their testimonies and experiences can offer additional, inspiring support.
Pregnancy after a difficult experience
As violent experiences have a profound impact on people's lives, a specialized doula can also be very important in pregnancy following such experiences. Indeed, having a doula specialized in traumatic experiences by your side can be a great support when a first birth has been deeply wounding, so that you can live more serenely and be better equipped to face your next birth. The same is true when a pregnancy occurs after a bereavement, such as a natural abortion, and a different adventure awaits the family affected by the bereavement.
Doulas play a crucial but often overlooked role in accompanying women through the various transitions of life, even in difficult moments such as sexual abuse, pregnancy bereavement, infertility or gynecological violence. Their caring presence, ongoing emotional support and holistic approach make them invaluable allies.
Through this article, I wanted to highlight the diversity of doulas' roles and the importance of their specialized training, which enables them to provide support tailored to each unique situation.
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